Part 2: The Hungry Caterpillar

That’s right, the fuzzy caterpillar from hell got me. Right on the wrist, where the veins are plentiful. It wasn’t a nibble actually, but a sting. Words of advice: don’t eat the mayo. It’s not mayo….or the cottage cheese for that matter. Whatever thatched roof cottage it was made in should be burninated! It tastes like chalk. The rest of the food however, is quite nice if you don’t mind Jenny Craig sized servings. If you are looking to diet this is right country for you. You don’t even have a choice really. You’ll lose about ten pounds of water weight in the first few hours and then comes Jenny. Maybe that is why all of the women at play group look like “after” pictures. They “apparently” have had children, but you wouldn’t know it. I am sort of the tweener shot at this point. You know, midway between the enormous pants and the bikini.

A struggle I am having: I have yet to make anyone laugh here, except for Mike. I believe they think I am nice and friendly, but funny? Not so much. I don’t know what to say. I start with, “Yes, I am from the States. My husband is working at Russell. I’m adjusting well. I love your country. How old are your little ones?” and then I completely run out of things to say. I start to panic and find a reason to walk away. Someone help me! I used to have people in my life that at least appeared to be amused by me…even entertained. I need some lines that scream; HEY you want to be friends with me because I am humorous and good natured! Maybe I should just be direct and tell them exactly that. I guess “she’ll be right”, (I’ll be okay).

Kenna starts preschool tomorrow. Three days a week from 9-3. I love my girl. We’re going out tonight to get her all of her supplies and snacks. She will be in the pre-kindie class.

A question for America: There is no yellow cheese here of any kind. My question is why do WE have yellow cheese? Milk is white. Cheese comes from milk. Talk to me about the yellow?

Word(s) of the Day: Fair dinkum : true, genuine Dinky Di: true, genuine

Daily Poll: Do you think I will be adopting either of those phrases? Why or why not! If you know me at all, this should be a no brainer!

Fun Factoid: We are called Yanks and the British are called POHM’s

(Prisoner of Her Majesty) As most of you know Australia began as a penal colony. The ships carrying criminals (most of which were petty thieves) had POHM on the hull. Those Aussies really know how to turn things around. Now they are a mighty nation and the Brits are POHM’s (Prisoners of her Majesty).

Goodnight America!

Pasley’s Down Under – Part 1

It is raining cats and dingos down here. I have never seen anything like it. We live in the suburb of Roseville, which is just North of Sydney over (or under) the Harbor Bridge. It is near Chatswood/Willoughby…in case you can’t find it on a map. It is a beautiful neighborhood with incredible gumtrees and palm trees all about. It is very green with a tropical feel and the weather to prove it. It is generally hot as sin or raining hard enough to inspire ark building. No happy medium. It is an amazing place to visit! But, I must be honest that life without my dear ones near by has been tough to adapt to. In the words of Chicago, you (all are) a hard habit to break. (Just a note: I think I will incorporate as many Chicago lines as possible into this blog, just for giggles…enjoy). Some bulleted observations.

  • > 1. Australians LOVE Australia. They like America. They like Fiji. But they LOVE AUSTRALIA. You will understand if you come here.
  • >2.They do not speak English here. It is a little known dialect called: Strine (say it out loud and you will understand). For example: The barber asked Mike if he wanted a hotel. Mike said, “No thank you, I live here now.”                                                                                                                     “Naw mate,” he replied, “Do you want a hotel?” Mike again replied, “No I don’t really need one, I am heading home after this…” “Naw mate,” the barber responded, “a hotel, you know like to put on your face…a hot towel?”
  • >3. There are two types of Australians as far as I can tell so far: the type that want you to be terrified of the creatures that live here and the ones that want to downplay the immense danger. I prefer the latter but my driving instructor was unfortunately the former.
  • >4. If you see a caterpillar while you are here, do not touch it. It is not friendly. It will sting you!
  • >5. Thought I saw a funnel web our second day here. I screamed for Mike and held Kenna and Chaylee tightly. (Now imagine a Western movie score playing in the background). Mike comes out of the bedroom carrying a drinking glass, a Bill Bryson book, insect repelling incense and wearing nothing but underwear and work shoes. He was armed, dangerous, and ready to send that spider from hell back to his place of origin.  It turned out to be nothing but a giant cockroach. At least Mike was ready for him. He is a man that will fight for my honor. He is the hero, I’ve been dreaming of.
  • >6. We have yet to purchase an automobile so we currently get about via bus, train or by foot. I generally push the pram (stroller) all over town in lieu of negotiating the bus. You all will be happy to know that my thunder thighs are trimming up nicely. I have been downgraded from a category 5 to a category 3.  Hoping to become a tropical storm by the time we leave.
  • >7. Kenna has made many little Aussie friends and has been trying out a new pronunciation of tomato (soft a sound). I have joined a playgroup down the street and have met some very nice mommas. We have tea from time to time.

Quick poll: When, if ever, should I introduce them to my rapping skills?  How will I know when they are ready?

Phrase of the Day: “Stone the flaming crow!” Translation: You’re kidding me!

Word of the day: Icebox

Translation: Popsicle

Love to you all. You bring meaning to my life. You’re the inspiration…

G’day

Heather

Mike and Hevy’s Big Adventure

In 33 days my beloved family unit and I will be relocating to a land of no worries; a land with plenty of mates. A land where Sheila isn’t just a name, it’s a gender.  A land of unmatched beauty, riddled with hideous, venomous creatures who want to kill me. A land of obnoxious heat, raging reptiles and snugly marsupials. A land where trunks are boots and babes are bus. A land of strangers.

That’s right, the Pasleys are headed to Australia.  We will be there for 2 1/2 -3 years so there is plenty of time for you to save up and come one down. Life will be lonesome without my beloved friends and family nearby,  Heather without Kirsten is like Mary-Kate without Ashley but worse. And T-Town without Heather Pasley is like New Jersey without Bon Jovi. What will become of this city?

Thank you Mikey for the big Adventure.
You’re my best mate. Can’t wait.